My life couldn't be as perfect as everyone else. Mistakes comes and go. Be it learn from mistakes or likewise, reoccurance happens.The problem is me, why am i born in this kind of living? I have family, I have boyfriend and boyfriend's family and additional. That is my past from now onwards.
I have too many flaws that are easily noticed by others but not myself. I often rely on my boyfriend and his family to keep me alive. Can always see me at his house, mostly are after work or during off days. Shift work is really tiring when there's no one out there helping you and thus, you have to do it alone no matter what. The tireness could drag to longer period. Who feel it? Ourselves. I understand, when we are at people house, to share them love and so, we should make ourselves hands on, on those chores. I did, when? When there's no one around. When I'm not tired. Lethargic could be my problem. I often having back ache. Why can't people understand when I lie on the bed or floor, I have problems with my back.My mistake, not everyone has the same thought. I just came back from penang, I longed to come back singapore as I feel I was there just to help out looking after his siblings.At certain time, they held hands together and let the kids hands be free. I understand, they want their time alone. But not when they bring the kids along. The kids really didn't like seeing both of them smoking.I had no rights to stop. I go along with everything. Second day, they decided to head down to the pub, all agreed cause we can listen to music. But sadly, soon after we came, they ordered drinks which are not nice to drink in kids presence. One of them got really disappointed and chose to ignore her. Good thing was, she realise he didnt like it. Thereafter, I was asked to keep the kids accompanied in the hotel, what am I again? I had to gulped in my drinks and walked off..I was pissed too. Everytime, I need to be there accompanying the kids while you and ur bf were out.I thought you wanted me to have my time and have fun thus asking me to join.I wanted to share money for taxi fare , treating the kids and so but you don't seem to take it.. the next thing you know, you have shortage of money. Why can't I spend some for them since some of it is on my hand. The possible reason I heard from others is, jealousy for not being noticed. Sincerity of buying stuffs for others is not to get notice for it.He will still be your dad.He will still think you are good enough to bring them out of the island.What else is not enough.My clothes, I had no privacy with my stuffs let alone helping out with the cleaning. I wouldn't want to touch or keep anything for someone cause I might be accused wrongly.So after many days, you came about to tell someone about my stayover at your place.This matter, I could accept. I bring your family down cause people have been saying. Humans are like this.Why didn't you tell bf or me straight. Doesn't mean you have known me for a long time, you know me inside outside.What do you mean when you say true colours.? what have I been betraying? I didn't tell ur bf about your secrets.You went to visit your ex bf's house. and having crush with his friend. Have I spilled any beans yet? No.I keep your relationship save.but what happen to mine? I lost everything.
Everything that means alot to my life.The one could bring joy to my life.Decided to leave me again.As much as it hurts you, it hurts me deeper. In time like this whereby I have no one.I felt as though my heart has just been stabbed. I feel like doing it physically.There are so many things I want to do with you. I want to stay with you. My heart trembled and I broke down right infront of my patient.. this never happened. I have been joyful. What is my biggest sin that makes me to suffer this way. I would rather go pennyless than to lost my joy.Do i deserve this treatment, being cold, shiver and break down.I need to hug just you for the last time..the 7 years could be this short..and painful.I can't believe myself that you have known me very well to be with me but you could give up the challenge.where is the love that you onced given to me..
I pray to HIM to give me the power of strength to live cause I give up on life.I want to die during sleep on this very night.It either he fulfill or not.the last thing i want to do is be next to you.khayrul. since you want to see me in this pain. why didnt you meet me and pour all out since you say you want to end it like a gentleman.
Through this challenges, if a person really loves her, he would be there to go through hard time together. its the matter of how we settle cause at the end of it, we are going to live with our partner, regardless hard or easy time.Why do people see this to end?In life we have to take up the risk.Ive always tell myself that i can take this challenge as long as i know you can try to give another chance.
In life, there are 4 things you can’t get back. The stone after the throw, the word after it’s said, the action after it’s done, and the time after it has passed. So be careful of what you throw, of what you speak, of what you do, and of what you let pass by.
Sesungguhnya, apabila Allah s.w.t. itu mengasihi seseorang hamba Ia akan mengujinya. Dan apabila Ia mengujinya, sama ada dengan menurunkan penyakit dan sebagainya, Allah akan memberikan kesabaran. Dalam menghadapi cubaan seperti ini, kesabaran adalah paling utama. Sesungguhnya orang yang bersabar akan diberikan pahala mereka tanpa hisab (az-Zumar: 10).
Kesabaran dengan ujianNYA adalah penting. Kebahagian datang dari kesusahan.
Cabaran yang datang adalah ujian untuk melihat kesabaran seseorang.Sesiapa yang merosakkan kebahagian seseorang,mereka akan diuji dengan lebih besar dan berganda.Mengalah tidak bererti bersalah, mengalah adalah sikap kesabaran kerana sayang.
Rintangan yang melanda,cabaran yang akan meningkat.Hadapi dengan tenang.
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