you strengthen my heart when its weak.

I was contented for sometime.
I wished it was you who I need to sit next with.
They were so lovely that i felt like crying because i cant have it the same. both were white and black.
resembles our life, past and present.
if the past would make me happy i would live for the past and die for the present.
As i was riding the sky ride, i wish it was you who spent that day with me for it was our anniversary. i know you dont remember all this but i do. all the small things we did, been haunting and clinging onto my mind. maybe you forget but i dont.They were too sweet that i wish i could do the same to you but better. i want to be the one who feeds you when youre sick, massage you when youre tired and aching,listen to your rants when youre angry and happy, talk to you when youre bored. but sad to know all this while i was just a boring gf.
i wish to have you again.
few more hours, i gonna face the judges. i want your words of motivation to strengthen me.

so yesterday songs shall keep playing in my heart.

I sang that song whole heartedly but he wasnt there. it was only the dj and me. Setia kukorbankan by fauziah latif.
I wanted to sing a duet with him but i just had to hold back my words and movements because i dont want to be rejected. i just chose a song andang cinta ku menyala w/o partner.. i decided not to sing when then it was my turn reason was i had no partner but he came to say he will sing with me. okay,but my heart sank and i couldnt sing.


it hurts me to see him there but i cant have him.

i guess he has found a new love.





i just want to step back and remain like this forever.
knowing he can't be there. i want no other man although they keep pm-ing me here and ther. they just cant be like you.

True love doesn't mean you need to have the person by you.

True love is when you have to watch a friend leave,
with the knowledge that you might never see him again.
But you know he'll be in your mind and heart forever.

Meeting you was fate,
becoming your friend was a choice,
falling in love with you
was beyond my control.

The way to know true and selfless love
is rather than trying to change the one you love to fit your way,
change instead your way to fit the one you love.

Yesterday was dad's birthday. Im not cruel to not even wish him. I did and he replied "k,thanks".

So you looked for me to join you for supper,for real?
I thought you always have someone to accompany you and you no longer find me.
But yat, I will always be there when you need help.

I guess he has found a gf. Look at his post. :)

it doesnt matter where he is, i can always find him in my heart. <3

take away love and our earth is a tomb

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

he dont show me that he is concern abt me cause shes there by him.

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friend.

he has, i dont.

Had a talk last night. Same thing, move on. Yes, I definitely know I have to move on but its going to take a longer time. It is tough because we were close, we were like family, we gone through many things, those time we built and spent. Just the memories that is haunting me. My heart cries everytime I think of him. Are we really not meant for each other? Why can't i live with the person I love so much.

you are just you

Did i say i dreamt of him.

I just remember slight of it. It was as though we just met and he asked me out,of course i agreed but i had no money with me so i asked my mom for money.haha then i forget what happened. i cant believe i dreamt of him.

he never msg me still.. i miss having him around me.

Leaving him far away from my sight is hurtful.
I can't open my heart for anyone yet, i guess it will never.
I still couldn't believe that 7 years could be this fast,How you look at me, how you laugh at me, how you smile at me, how you talk to me, how you kiss me, how you cuddle me and how you take care of me. You may bade goodbye to me.I am sure you are going to be a happier person. you have always wished for this to happen.Maybe, we started to early to view the differences and decide.
Saying goodbye is always easy, its the moments we have been through thats tough to forget. There are at times which you wish you could amend it straight and make things alright. I blame myself for hurting my heart.why did i leave the broken glass scattered all over.why do we live this way.
you seems to be fine. very fine. i know. because ure never committed when u were with me. i was a fool. i gave in everything to him. he forgets everything. he just think of whats next and doesnt want to live with me after what happened.

you will never know if the person youy have chosen would be someone you regret living with.

Sometimes, the hardest things to say are the things that matters

replacement

i know you will never visit me here. we live so close yet we are far away.

since you have her in your life all your time, you pushed my away without any concern.

you have to hurt me this way.

you no longer need someone like me.





you will only realise once you lose it, the moment you amended and want it back, youre just a step late.

shila, bear in mind. he will never ask you or find you again.

disappear from his life. he is moving on fast.

angsty

I just reached home last night before 10pm.

We ended our holidays by going for wedding. I should have followed what he said. To go home with them because i had a tiff with my closest aunt the day after. day before, i was fucked up because i lost my hp. i was seacrhing up and down for it and the next thing i know is, its in her bag and didnt even know it. who else can it be?? make me worry for nothing. I was thinking how to pay bills and such.. and how am i gonna find that money to buy a phone. bonus is still far away; july. I think i gonna hold Singtel bill first and pay my debt for courts and termination line for m1. stupid M1. stated negative but ended up terminating when its supposed to be september. idiot.

I was very upset with my family because they never think of how my grandmother is supposed to go home when theres no one left at that place. another idiot. the distance is not even 1 or 2 km. i hold on to my tears. they only think of going back because it is very hot and journey. fucking shit. regret for not saving money and take license for good.

bad apple

Both me & zahra went to visit linda as she has given birth to another baby boy. I wonder when will i have and get the same feeling like hers.She has grown bigger compare to back then when she was in secondary school.. What makes a mother to grow that big? Happiness? hee.. Linda, we will alwasy pray and be there for you when you need help okay.Dont be to stressed up with your sons.

Went to somerset to get our accessories. Separated with her cause her bf got night out. i understand how amin feels, let him feel your love my dear. anyway, khayrul want to send me jb? how shocking is that?

i really appreciate your help khayrul but you know i dont want others to talk again about how unappreciative i am because i don't know how to repay your kindness towards my family. Ive given your family much disgrace.

If they know this, im sure they gonna be mad at me because im not being strong. Im sorry but i love him and his family even though he look down on me, and such.Im still appreciating his mom's love. i wished i could hug her and weep my tears but again, they were there..

khay said he wanted to confess something.. i wonder what and to who. i shall not ask to be a fool. I saw his pictures.

Really, everytime when we were together, he will be busy with schools, assignments and soccer..less outing with me.. Now that he no longer with me, he no longer schooling.. but working.. he still got time, i think almost of his time is spent with karen and his gfs. watching movie and bring such places whilst when i was with him, i always have to decide. Shes aint boring cause she's beautiful and shes just a friend so theres no engulf..mine is different. u always find me as a bad apple.

how are you

I always wonder what are you doing now? Have you eaten? What have you been up to? How is your work going? Who are you dating with now? But to know all this by myself, is really hurting myself. They asked me to stop everything that has got to do with you.I simply can't.You know, we have been through alot together. You left a bigger impact in my life.. this is the biggest.I wasn't this hurt when you left me last year. I have to disappear myself. I don't want to do this. Neither do i want to hurt myself. But you always want the best and chose this way.. You left me hurt by myself,alone..had no one to turn too.. Everytime i find you to help me but this time round, i am with myself. I feel so stupid and dump like you said i am..to actually msg you and got the cheeks to ask you out. To the stupidest ive been is, you chose to reject me and go on with the other party.. if you love me, or still want me back.. you would have chosen me. Ive seen alot of this so i assume, you no longer and will never love me.. You believe this way,don't you..

Ya ALLAH, Sebesar besar kesilapan aku sebagai manusia,besarkan lagi lah kebahagian seseorang insan yang aku sayangi dan lindunginya dengan segala rintangan yang akan melanda dirinya.Walaupun aku dicacinya dan dibencinya, merekalah yang pernah melihat kehidupan aku dengan menjaga aku sehingga aku sempurna. Dengan engkau aku bertaktah, dengan engkau aku mengadu.. dengarla rayuanku untuk menjaga kami, dengan keluarganya..Sesungguhnya akulah yang bersalah, tunjukkanlah perjalanan yang betul. Jika aku yang berdosa, ampunkan la aku dan maafkan la aku.AMIN.

khay,i hope u wil come and visit me here. I really rec it later ..i rec mami msg only.. I got to know u went out with karen to watch movie ytd,they saw u. Thus saying u didnt do this to me this often..now u alway want to watch movie.. Why??u nvr ask me anymore..how hurtful.. i just felt like posting it but i forget u will feel the pinch.. So i just say to my friend..he kept msging me..he was saying he dreamt i was a ghost,i was sleeping with him and such.. I dont make story..then i saw ur msg.. I know how u feel.. Sorry if u feel the pinch..it was nvr meant to u.. I am sad to leave u and nvr msg u but u are being cold to me so i tell myself u dont love me anymore..not

Im living alone?

Went to DXO last night to loosen myself.

You just don't want to be with me alone. I asked you out twice but got rejected. Many at times. You reason is im always a step late. Decision is on your hand whom you want to go out with. First i ask, you said youre lying, very tired, next thing is you already going out. great lie. very much spontaneous.So you chose her before me. Im alright just slightly dejected for what you've done. What's next?

Not a slightest appreciation.
I don't want money.

myself

yesterday,i didnt manage to update.

Yesterday plan was to meet up with his mom b'cause i thought i wanted to apologise directly & visually. End up there were all of us, Cik Noriah, Mami, Kak yana and surprisingly, khay was around. I always thought he would avoid from me for a very long time. skip this.
We went to Jb to pay his house bills then had our early dinner at El migos. Was fascinated with the concept. Engross to take pictures. Ate until we are full. HAHA! then head back home as khay has something on. I felt a tad awkward so i called up my mom to ask where she was, she was at causeway point,so met her and the other two sis of mine at cwp. Had our early supper at siam kitchen. I felt better,slightly..though there is still scar in my heart.My family made me laugh. I didnt realised i ordered alot of ice cream and couldnt finish all.. they said whoever cant finish have to pay the bill.Hahahahahahaha!

at night, i fell asleep with my laptop on my stomach,panas pe?..ahah. 0030hr i received msg from someone asking whether i can be friends with him. Not my type.

So today i went out with ika, she knew abt it. expected. Bought her,mami and cik aida some blouse.but i told ika to say its from her. @ 11 had our supper at mcd with kak yana cas and khay. afterwhich watch 2 movies at his place, like usual, he wont watch.if his friends ask,he would. i know him that well. Home at 4.30 am!

someone

i have come to think that i cant have my own happiness. khayrul needs his own happiness and that is not with me. I have seen him going through hard times, happy times.I can be very upset now but time will heal as we go along and i will keep trying to a stronger person.
I dont know if i will meet someone who is just like him, again. I hope there is.I dont even know if i gonna fall in love again.This could be how he felt last time. I knew this would come by cause i didnt have a good start the first day of the year. I hope to be your sister still.Now i have no one to confide to, i will get myself a bear on my birthday. I have no one to celebrate my birthday with but im okay. as long as i get to celebrate yours and see you happy getting a surprise boot and psp from me.
Khayrul, as much and long i type this. i hope you will get yourself a life long partner. Who will make you happy, who will be there when you in need them, who will go through challenges with you. i will just be your shadow, watch you from afar. I want to be there on your biggest day.Dont forget me.

i will send an angel to watch you sleep, drink and eat. i want my angel to protect you from any harm of sadness. :)

you wanted to stop seeing me thus avoiding. You may say i did nothing at home, only in others presence. you seen so much of my true colours? i thought you always know we better. 7 years. where did that go to?

Rain.

yesterday when i cried, the rain showed up. today i cried, the raine showed up again.
does ALLAH hear me crying in pain.? then why let me suffer this way.

sickness

I shiver as i'm typing. never been this hot.38.6 deg. why do i have fever for nothing. i feel so weak. i just have to lie on bed. im hungry but i have been on less appetite for the past few days. good ways of losing weight though. i feel weak when you are not around. havent i told you this, youre my strength. just you. only you can cure me. everything about me hurt because of this.eye, head, heart and body. I want you to be next to me now and watch me lie...looking pale..

Separation

At this hour, i found myself crying. I miss him so much and he doesn't seem to know it. Why he doesn't seem to care. I feel very ashamed because he doesn't want me back. but what else can i do, he hates me. why this separation occur.why do you have to leave at this point of time. if we are really not meant for each other, i wouldn't boast around.

baby by me

baby, where are you now when i need you the most..why dont you take my hand.. i wanna be close to you. take my hand and walk with me.. baby where are you now when nothing is going right.. i cant see the light.i need you to set me free. why do we fall apart, i feel all alone..lonely lonely..
Every time we see a blocked path, don't get upset. It could just be God's great guidance

forgotten

dear,

you must have forgotten about me. you know i can't go to sleep without knowing where you are now. How you feel. Is it getting better?. I can't keep my eyes away from my laptop. i can't stop myself from visiting your website to know anything new about you.Waiting for your messages.i feel dump.I'm stupid to do this way.But i can't forget you yet, never.

Reminiscing

today i posted alot cause i have nothing better to do. i cant talk to myself so i talk to blogger.. since no one is reading it too.

today my mom ask what i want for my birthday.on my mind there's only him. i replied engage on my birthday. then she asked next month? then she said the guy family havent ask.. i smiled and walk away. smiled cause i dont want to show.

in the taxi, i came to remember all those beautiful & wonderful times together. i miss everything. I miss how they laugh at my stupidity and clumsyness. i miss the way he teases me. i miss the way he laugh at me. i miss kissing his forehead when he asleep. i miss pinching him. i miss karaoke-ing with him. i remember i tried to make him laugh by acting stupid dancing with broom and he singing with shades and holding on to cup of glass. i miss every ways. why do i have to cry in the night.

are we really not meant for each other? then why does HE let us meet at first. why.
bila kusedari diri disayangi, langkah kaki ini makin berani. bila terkeliru ku ucapkan namamu.

have i said this, you are the light when the darkness fall. you showed me path so i wont get lost.

today, i chatted with his mom.
View your entire conversation history with this contact

sue_1605@yahoo.com said:
kak...
syella said:
yes
ika
i waited for u dari 2pm..
hahah

sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
shila!!!!!!!!!!!!
syella says:
weewiit.. jap, ni sape? ika?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
emmmmmmmmmmmmm
lupa ke
syella says:
ah . mami ke?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
rasan
syella says:
a hha.. memang la mami kan..
a
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
sape lagi
ika da alik
syella says:
a h.okay2. tadi die anta msg, skrg baru perasan
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
tk keje/
ka
syella says:
niari off day pasal besok keje malam..ahhaah
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
oic
syella says:
best kan..tapi skrg i kat np
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
tahu tadi ikut
syella says:
ikot?
gi mane?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
ha tk tahu ja
syella says:
jb la ni kan??
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
bukannnnnnnnn
syella says:
merayap? or rumah customer?

sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
customer apa lagi
syella says:
i punye cartoon ketawe,lagi cute..
mami da start maid agency eh?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
blmmmmmmmmmmmm
lagi sbk ada confinement
alik da mlm sian
syella says:
kesian nye.. relax..
tgh buat pe seh?
boring seh...
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
apasal
ops mami lagi bual wit baba
dia dtng sini lagi talk 2

syella says:
.ok2
go talk.
i nak tanye pasal i nak amek course..nanti i forward kat u.
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
ok course
explore is for ur own gd
keep it up
syella says:
BASIC DEPORTMENT & GROOMING COURSE - $450.00
Deportment (includes body language)
Personal hygiene
Figure control
Make-up for day and evening
Skincare
Manicure
Social etiquette
Fashion sense
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
so u can b better person
mami pray for u
kata anak mak
e he
manicure ok but aft dah bgus jng buat jadi boss
syella says:
ahaa h
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
cos mani n patdi u alway buat nanti ur hand prb
syella says:
ade make up class jugak
a
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
coz byk my cstmer run all dat
come back to me kesian mami tengok
syella says:
tangan semua lembek2 kan
heee
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:

num
syella says:
PROFESSIONAL MODELLING COURSE - $650.00
Only graduates from the Basic Deportment and Grooming Course will be accepted
into the Professional Modelling Course. This advance course is structured to prepare
a student for an illustrious career as a fashion and/or photographic model.
8 classes of 2 hours each are held weekly, covering:
Catwalk technique
Photographic make-up
Photographic posing
Modelling
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
skill no 1 can take
syella says:
yes.since banyak free time
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
kan mami da bilang dulu make up artist is e best
can make it
byk org kawin guna kan
n if ada duit can run studio
syella says:
yes!
tulah.. ni die ade ajar everything
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
ok if u rasa u can comit all tis ada safe jugak
all depent how u wanna run
e course pon tk m l okla
syella says:
duit nak run studio, i takde la.. kalau org stakat suro make2 up for wedding ke photoshooting boleh la share2 kan..
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
boleh for first move
b urself
so frm der u learn
n b murtured
pape can talk to me feel free
no prb
syella says:
ada bim
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
asalkan jln yng betul
bgusn
if u rasa i like ur mum
mane 2 im ok
syella says:
apa ini macam?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
apa ini macam
pe sey
syella says:
ahah. kalau tak, takkan la i tanye ur opinion..
i tanye my mom, die ckp topic lain
sue_1605@yahoo.com says: mayb dia tk phm
dia kan tahu nak masak2
syella says: pada die,duit tu save je..tulah.die tgh plan nak bukak kedai..tgh cari tempat.
baba kat sane? tgh buat pe?
baring?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
dia lagi bual luarkan perasaan sian
ok
bgus jugak
syella says:
alah kesiannye.. okayla. kirim salam kat baba. bilang baba tak perlu risau2 ke pening2. hidup jalan terus.. h
takya stop2.
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
stop nafas tkda hee
syella says:
ha. jangan.
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
beh nk camne
syella says:
i mean jgn stop2 to think fikir2..
a h
i ada gamba baru<
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
u pray kan mami jugak
if wat ever mami run business
maju is gd
i wanna plan lain so u learn take it
syella says:
no worries. mami kan bagus in running business. semua org will pray for you so that everything will go smoothly
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
so i nk u run yng mana stble for u 2
mami naikkan my to children so u pon my
mine
hope for e best k
tk mau blurrrrrrrrrrrrr

syella says:
jgn la ckp macam gini. mcm sedih je. jangan risau2. things will go smoothly ..
slowly.
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
blur rabon tkpe jng lain
syella says:
a ha
naughty eh
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
gd kan
people change one day
god bless
syella says:
hope for the best je. bismillah
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
amin
da go sheep
syella says:
i nak cabut uban my mom.
u take care
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
bsk mami ada custemer
syella says:
banyak
?
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
u to kirim
smlm mami turun uma cik biba ur mum da alik
mami dtng lambat cos uma org dtng
syella says:
ouh.. i baru tau. i baru tanye my mom. my mom tanye u tak pergi ke..i cakap u pergi lambat.
eheh
okayla. mami talk to baba. kesian baba.. tgh sedih..heh. anything can msg
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
dia da sheep pon mami pon b gd nite sweet dream
syella says:
hah. goodnight! yes sweetdreams. nanti i jumpe u dalam mimpi. tata
sue_1605@yahoo.com says:
muazk

syella winks:

Play "Kiss"

Rejected and Dejected

I'm at northpoint now. Was from Toa Payoh, helped nurul to run some errands. I just want to extricate myself from all problems thus asking my mom to meet me at causeway point but in the end we back to northpoint. the taxi driver had a tiff with another driver. Almost accident. I guess im used to it already. Im a lil bit fine now that we have it settled. I was stupid after knowing that i msged to wrong no. still, the decision have been made up.

i have no intention to meet him and talk about this. i always look up for him and always feel comfortable with him around and not other guys. they asked me out to join for supper, gaming and what else. but i give lots of reasons for not going. Now i want to make myself enjoy for a little while with him, rejected. even make me dejected. He wants to forget me fully. i can disappear first.

unhappy

Im not used to this kind of living.I'm not a happy person. My life is similar to the drain.I feel so aggitate now. i feel im tied down. i feel like punching, i feel like screaming and i feel like shouting. oh my god. i want to be myself. everyone is asking. i can only cry. and shut up and run.

you and me

I was hungry and make myself an instant maggi. It made think of what we did when there's no food at night, do you remember? i tried to make your maggi to your taste, but i failed. this time round, i made it perfectly like yours.but time like this, make me cry cause you aint there to taste it.

you remember that morning. you were hungry. infact both were hungry.. i tried to fried rice with all veg to feed your stomach, it was my first and it turned oily. i was disappointed with myself.

now, im eating maggi alone and by myself with tears coursing down my cheeks.

after this i might be heading down to ecp to cycle as fast as possible.

two is better than one

It is nice to see everyone happy and smiling.
It is sad to see myself upset and keep weeping day and night for what had happened.
As wide as I can smile, is wider the sadness in my heart.

Now, i shall just hide myself. Feels like terminating my hp no and deleting fb.

what a life..

I felt like running out from the ward.

I expected this.

the happiness you have given me can't be compared to what my friends have given me.
times we shared our views, problems and even cried together. this never happen to any of my ordinary friends.

i love you too much that i couldnt hold back the tears and movement.
that was really a heart throbbing. i went home with tears, and wish that man would stab me like how he stabbed those ladies around yishun. that would end everything.

despite this, theres a wisdom behind this.

i always hope that you will be patient with me to be in this relationship to achieve our happiness as long as to live our love no matter there's difficulties.

haiz.
please make up ur mind..i miss you terribly.

i need a ride to ecp. i need a car and license.

The one who could bring in my life is you but you had to leave.

My life couldn't be as perfect as everyone else. Mistakes comes and go. Be it learn from mistakes or likewise, reoccurance happens.The problem is me, why am i born in this kind of living? I have family, I have boyfriend and boyfriend's family and additional. That is my past from now onwards.

I have too many flaws that are easily noticed by others but not myself. I often rely on my boyfriend and his family to keep me alive. Can always see me at his house, mostly are after work or during off days. Shift work is really tiring when there's no one out there helping you and thus, you have to do it alone no matter what. The tireness could drag to longer period. Who feel it? Ourselves. I understand, when we are at people house, to share them love and so, we should make ourselves hands on, on those chores. I did, when? When there's no one around. When I'm not tired. Lethargic could be my problem. I often having back ache. Why can't people understand when I lie on the bed or floor, I have problems with my back.My mistake, not everyone has the same thought. I just came back from penang, I longed to come back singapore as I feel I was there just to help out looking after his siblings.At certain time, they held hands together and let the kids hands be free. I understand, they want their time alone. But not when they bring the kids along. The kids really didn't like seeing both of them smoking.I had no rights to stop. I go along with everything. Second day, they decided to head down to the pub, all agreed cause we can listen to music. But sadly, soon after we came, they ordered drinks which are not nice to drink in kids presence. One of them got really disappointed and chose to ignore her. Good thing was, she realise he didnt like it. Thereafter, I was asked to keep the kids accompanied in the hotel, what am I again? I had to gulped in my drinks and walked off..I was pissed too. Everytime, I need to be there accompanying the kids while you and ur bf were out.I thought you wanted me to have my time and have fun thus asking me to join.I wanted to share money for taxi fare , treating the kids and so but you don't seem to take it.. the next thing you know, you have shortage of money. Why can't I spend some for them since some of it is on my hand. The possible reason I heard from others is, jealousy for not being noticed. Sincerity of buying stuffs for others is not to get notice for it.He will still be your dad.He will still think you are good enough to bring them out of the island.What else is not enough.My clothes, I had no privacy with my stuffs let alone helping out with the cleaning. I wouldn't want to touch or keep anything for someone cause I might be accused wrongly.So after many days, you came about to tell someone about my stayover at your place.This matter, I could accept. I bring your family down cause people have been saying. Humans are like this.Why didn't you tell bf or me straight. Doesn't mean you have known me for a long time, you know me inside outside.What do you mean when you say true colours.? what have I been betraying? I didn't tell ur bf about your secrets.You went to visit your ex bf's house. and having crush with his friend. Have I spilled any beans yet? No.I keep your relationship save.but what happen to mine? I lost everything.

Everything that means alot to my life.The one could bring joy to my life.Decided to leave me again.As much as it hurts you, it hurts me deeper. In time like this whereby I have no one.I felt as though my heart has just been stabbed. I feel like doing it physically.There are so many things I want to do with you. I want to stay with you. My heart trembled and I broke down right infront of my patient.. this never happened. I have been joyful. What is my biggest sin that makes me to suffer this way. I would rather go pennyless than to lost my joy.Do i deserve this treatment, being cold, shiver and break down.I need to hug just you for the last time..the 7 years could be this short..and painful.I can't believe myself that you have known me very well to be with me but you could give up the challenge.where is the love that you onced given to me..

I pray to HIM to give me the power of strength to live cause I give up on life.I want to die during sleep on this very night.It either he fulfill or not.the last thing i want to do is be next to you.khayrul. since you want to see me in this pain. why didnt you meet me and pour all out since you say you want to end it like a gentleman.

Through this challenges, if a person really loves her, he would be there to go through hard time together. its the matter of how we settle cause at the end of it, we are going to live with our partner, regardless hard or easy time.Why do people see this to end?In life we have to take up the risk.Ive always tell myself that i can take this challenge as long as i know you can try to give another chance.

In life, there are 4 things you can’t get back. The stone after the throw, the word after it’s said, the action after it’s done, and the time after it has passed. So be careful of what you throw, of what you speak, of what you do, and of what you let pass by.

Sesungguhnya, apabila Allah s.w.t. itu mengasihi seseorang hamba Ia akan mengujinya. Dan apabila Ia mengujinya, sama ada dengan menurunkan penyakit dan sebagainya, Allah akan memberikan kesabaran. Dalam menghadapi cubaan seperti ini, kesabaran adalah paling utama. Sesungguhnya orang yang bersabar akan diberikan pahala mereka tanpa hisab (az-Zumar: 10).

Kesabaran dengan ujianNYA adalah penting. Kebahagian datang dari kesusahan.
Cabaran yang datang adalah ujian untuk melihat kesabaran seseorang.Sesiapa yang merosakkan kebahagian seseorang,mereka akan diuji dengan lebih besar dan berganda.Mengalah tidak bererti bersalah, mengalah adalah sikap kesabaran kerana sayang.

Rintangan yang melanda,cabaran yang akan meningkat.Hadapi dengan tenang.