Im thinking of you

Im thinking of you,in my sleepless solitude tonight
If it was wrong to love you then my heart just won't let me right cause I've drowned in you snd I won't pull through
Without you by my side..I'd give my all to have just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine
cause I can't go on living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight..baby can you feel me..Imagining I'm looking in your eyes..I can see you clearly..vividly emblazoned in my mind and yet you're so far like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight.

If you were my own
To caress and hold
I would shower you with love
And drown within your soul
'Cause I live and breathe for you
And I really need you to know <3

I wonder and ponder too much about all those matters that are going on.
My life is like a rollercoaster with no brakes in between.Maybe I should blame myself because Ive been yearning to ride rollercoaster.. in order to settle this, I want to sit in between and hold both hands and let all out despite feeling fear and melancholy tears.I wish everything will come to an end on that day. I've made my mind to forgo my dream and wishful thinking.

They say, in order to live, we need to dream but whatever I dream of, makes my life and people around me suffer. I feel so vulnerable. Rejected and dejected.I went for long rides at night,I wander around the city in the middle of the night,alone. Yes alone. I can't sleep so I choose to go out and have some peaceful mind all by myself. good to have connections everywhere.But bills are killing me softly. You, my blog, have been a good companion. you are where I pour out my rants and such but shit happened and it destroyed part of my life.i am sorry because all this occured unintentionally, If I was a perfect person, I would stop all these from occurring and safe everyone from having problems.Living as a good person is the same as destroying ourselves. Being good is not enough?Bad mouth for being good and bad mouth from being bad. I would rather be as bad to balance those bad mouth.So as not to feel much pitiful and regret. but i chose to be a good person and help as much as i can. but my good intention is always seen as bad.Who is living in this world happily? please share with me, how?throughout my 20 yrs of age, i've been feeling down. When the happy time came, it didnt last. I should give up on myself.but i dont give up visiting you in my heart.thats your place and i havent met anyone yet to replace you, but i think none will replace even though you might see me with another guy after your marriage.<3